A New Chapter: From Heart Healing to Dating Resilience

As I step into this next chapter of my life and work, I want to set the foundation for the direction I am going and the mission behind Fit To Love Coaching.

I created Fit To Love Coaching to help women like myself heal their hearts before trying to fix or mend them through someone else. For so long, we are taught—directly or indirectly—that love will come from being chosen, desired, or pursued. But what I have learned is that healing cannot be outsourced. A heart that has been wounded needs safety, honesty, and restoration before it can be shared.

And when we take a hurting heart into the dating world, especially today’s dating culture, it often works against our healing instead of supporting it.

That is why my coaching is now centered on Heart Healing and Dating Resilience. They are not separate. They are deeply connected. Most of us are navigating love with hearts that have been broken, neglected, overlooked, taken advantage of, or repeatedly disappointed. When we carry that pain into dating, we can easily confuse attention for connection, chemistry for safety, and desire for love.

In a world where options feel endless and the next person is a swipe away, discernment becomes rare. Emotional depth is replaced with speed. Intimacy is rushed. And women’s hearts are often left behind in the process.

For a long time, I was floundering in that world. I was treading water, moving from one toxic connection to the next. Dating stopped feeling like love and started feeling like a game. A battle of who would care less. Who would crack first. Who would gain the upper hand. I became numb to rejection and familiar with being used. That numbness felt like strength, but it wasn’t. It was survival.

Almost every connection followed the same pattern: meet, interest is shown, and within two or three dates the push for physical and sexual intimacy begins. Alcohol becomes part of the equation. Boundaries blur. And what is treated as “normal” is often deeply misaligned with what the heart actually wants.

I used to feel embarrassed to say that I wanted emotional safety before physical intimacy. I was told that was unrealistic, old-fashioned, or naive. I was told you had to test sexual chemistry first to see if something could grow. I was mocked for wanting depth. So I compromised myself over and over again because I was desperate to be chosen, loved, and seen.

There were times I drank to escape myself. To silence the ache. To avoid feeling the truth. I would wake up disconnected, numb, and further from who I really was. And for a while, that numbness felt easier than facing the pain.

Until it didn’t.

When I finally reached my breaking point, I knew something had to change. The casual offers. The emotional emptiness. The way I was giving access to my body and energy in exchange for momentary attention. I was exhausted. My heart was exhausted.

So I chose myself.

I stopped running to dating apps to fill time or loneliness. I stopped numbing. I stopped outsourcing my worth. I committed to sitting with myself, feeling what I had avoided, and learning how to be safe inside my own body and heart.

That choice changed everything.

Today, I am not actively dating. I am giving my body rest. I want it to learn what it feels like to not be rushed, pressured, or treated as something to access. I am committed to holding sexual intimacy until I am in a committed relationship built on trust, friendship, and mutual intention.

Anyone who pushes me to move faster than my nervous system and heart allow is no longer a candidate for my life. Where I once performed, I now preserve. Where I once chased, I now discern. Where I once abandoned myself, I now stay.

I don’t live with anxiety anymore. I no longer feel pulled by attention or validation. I protect my peace fiercely. I am grounded, productive, and emotionally steady in a way I never was before. Not because I found someone, but because I finally found myself.

And this is the work I am here to guide other women through.

Fit To Love Coaching is about healing the heart and building the resilience to date without self-abandoning. It is about recognizing that your body is sacred. Your heart is wise. And your standards matter.

Through my coaching and through my podcast, Fit To Love Conversations, I will begin sharing my story unapologetically and creating space for others—women and healing men alike—to share theirs. Stories of accountability. Of inner work. Of choosing growth over chaos. Of learning how to love from wholeness instead of wounds.

I do not blame men for what I experienced. Many of them showed me what to look for, what to avoid, and what no longer aligns. Dating resilience means we stop making others responsible for our healing and start honoring our power of choice.

This work is not for everyone. And that is okay.

My voice is for the woman who is tired. The woman who feels herself breaking. The woman who knows she cannot keep running, escaping, or filling voids and survive emotionally. I was that woman. My light was dimming because I was giving it away to people who could not hold it.

This is not about judgment. It is about truth. And about offering a different path.

Thank you to everyone who reads, supports, and walks beside me. I share my story so others feel less alone. So women remember their worth. So hearts can heal before they are asked to love again.

This is the foundation of my work.

This is the direction I am going.

And this is the beginning of something sacred.